My Bowl of M&Ms

Marriage and motherhood, the two Ms that have cost me the most but given me much more. Hi, my name is Jerisha Wilson, and I would like to share my bowl of M & Ms. Also, I know how to spell journey, but for my creative touch I spell Journee with an extra “e“ in this post because that's my daughters name. Now back to my M & Ms.

I grew up hearing more negative things about children than positive. How much they take over your life, the burden, how much they costs , you know the things you’ve probably heard too. No one seemed to enjoy motherhood or having anything to do with children so, why should I? On top of that, I was too afraid to bring children into this world. So for a long time, I did not want children. 

But what I didn’t know is that both journees were a part of God's plan in my life, and both required costs that I did not count or even consider. The greatest sacrifices and the strongest commitments to something bigger than myself. Most importantly, it was an answered prayer I prayed often, “God make me more like Jesus”.

THE MARRIAGE

When I think about marriage now, it’s completely different from when I desired it. I desired marriage because I wanted a home. I wanted a place that I could create with someone who loved me endlessly. A man to love me and yell it to the rooftops. I wanted a person I could travel with and live life unapologetically. Someone who liked my shape, who would jump in front of a bullet for me. That’s what I dreamt of. And while all that is so warm and fuzzy and gives you butterflies, I have learned that it is about 15%. 20 on a good day. When I think of marriage now in year 4, I automatically think about sacrifice, understanding, and unconditional love. 

Marriage should have a sub name when being talked about or even put on marriage certificates. It should say Marriage : The Sacrificial Covenant . Because that’s what it’s all about. Sacrificial love that nurtures , empowers, and endures with your spouse . Philippians 2 has been the scripture that has really shaped my view of marriage and how we show up in the covenant.

“If, then, there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love,  if any fellowship with the Spirit,  if any affection and mercy,  make my joy complete by thinking the same way,  having the same love,  united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit,  but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests,  but rather to the interests of others. ”

Philippians 2:1-4 CSB

MOTHERHOOD

I feel like I’ve never looked more like my Father, Jesus Christ until I stepped away from all I knew and became a mother. Working in my career and serving my husband was one level, but when motherhood came it shifted me into undeniable sacrificial love. It has made me pour more into the things that matter, my marriage and my kid. I die daily in this place. I willingly lay down my life for my kid because I know that it will benefit her in the long run. I willingly lay down my desires for my husband because it shows Christ's love through me. It shows surrender by the power of God.

Until Next Time,

Jerisha W.